Tag Archives: relationships

Are you cycling, too?

29 Jul

This is a cross-post (edited) from a private blog I keep with my boyfriend. Majority of our relationship is long distance so I write to him via blog posts, he writes back via comments, and it’s much more immediate and convenient for us than letters. Sign of the times, eh. Regardless, please excuse me crossing the professional/personal lines… but I digress…

I think that internships are bad for relationships.

Let me explain.

My generation is growing up in a world that is CONSISTENTLY ending and beginning in a vicious cycle labeled, ironically, ‘growing’. Each year, we start a new grade level, and then it ends. We get to college, and we start new classes: those too end. Finally, when we reach a point where professional learning begins to take place, our internships begin, and just like everything else up to that point in our lives, they end. Therefore, when our first real job comes along, we keep waiting for that moment for the shoe to drop. The one where everyone thanks you for your wonderful work and wishes you the best. But really, that never comes. So our generation is growing up with a mentality of infinite cycles. When the honeymoon phase of a job ends, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH OURSELVES.

About a year and a half ago, I started my first job out of college. I was overjoyed with this step in my career but then slowly I found myself wanting something more. A new way to grow, a new cycle to start, a new huge, different, project to fall into my lap. But it never came. So I grew complacent, then eventually annoyed, and finally indifferent.

To circle (cycle) back to how this works into our personal relationships, growing up my generation learned that life will always spark some new adventure. A new learning phase. A new flame deep inside of us. Because of that, we never LEARN how to be content. We’re always searching for the NEXT, the NEW, the FUTURE. And that plays out in our relationships. Always looking to keep that spark alive by consistently creating the NEW. Whether that be a new adventure, or a new fight, we honestly do not know how to just BE.

I don’t know if this makes any sense but it’s a mindset that I’ve found myself stuck in. Recognizing it however, I plan to take this nugget of truth with me to my next career step and hopefully learn to just live in the moment I’m given and not actively search for the next best things. I’ll be beginning at the Michigan Department of Community Health in just a few short weeks and I’m, once again, eager to grow. Hopefully this time however, I’ll know how to grow and maintain.

Lastly, and on a more personal note, I also want to apply this to my relationships. From romantic, to friends, coworkers, and family, I want to make more of an effort to reconnect and appreciate the wonderful people I have in my life rather than focusing on making only NEW connections. Of course, I’ll always welcome the opportunity, but it’s time I start focusing on what I already have in front of me.

Or maybe, I’m just getting old.



2010 So Far… Part 2

11 Mar
Gee, thanks, Facebook.

Gee... thanks, Facebook.

@beckyjohns: I think Disney movies have given me unrealistic expectations about love. And hair styling.

Amen, Becky. Amen.

But really ladies, does that make you love romance any less? Not me. If anything, it makes it worse for the men in my life because they will never be able live up to the ideals that Eric from the Little Mermaid or Prince Charming in Cinderella, have set. The bar is too high; no man will ever have to swim through an ocean to save me from an evil sea-witch. And I don’t own glass slippers for the safety of my feet.

Obviously, this post is about love/relationships/dating, or the lack thereof in my life. Since 2010 began a short three months ago, I find that a number of my good friends have become engaged and a much smaller portion of my friends are enjoying the single life nowadays.

It’s weird to say the least, to be the only single PERSON, not Bridesmaid, but Person, out of an entire bridal party. It’s also strange to see my friends wearing gorgeous rings that, yes, I’ll say it, I’m quite jealous of. Now don’t get me wrong… I love my friends and I honestly couldn’t be happier for them. Those who have gotten engaged, I completely agree that they should marry their significant other, but we’re still young, and while I’m happy they’re truly, madly, deeply in love, it still feels plain weird.

So what’s a girl to do when going out means you’re always the third, fifth, or seventh wheel; or when people are grasping at straws to set you up on blind dates; oh, and all those Facebook ads trying to get me to sign up and ‘Date the Millionaire’; or how about lastly, when my favorite Disney characters that have stuck by my side since I was toddler, are able to reduce me to tears.

Well, I’ll tell you what I’m not about to do: I’m not about to feel sorry for myself and neither should anyone else who is not in a relationship. It’s difficult to be surrounded by so much love but not be in love, and speaking from experience, the older you get, the harder it becomes. Family get-togethers or reunions, running into old friends: those are the worst. That’s when you get the ‘so have you met someone yet?’ question.

Well, no, but I have graduated from college, started forming a career, and got a perm. So I’m doing great.

Going back to Becky’s original statement- Disney movies make me feel really alone sometimes but I just need to keep reminding myself that despite not being in a relationship, or content with my hairstyle, there still are great things in my life and even better things headed my way. And yes, this is an ode to my single girlfriends who have contributed to many aspects of this post 🙂